Not sure if someone is a troll, or just someone with a different opinion?
I’ve run into that one. Without being too naive and gullible (therefore inviting abuse), after one run-in with a troll that I seriously underestimated (a trans guy on a youtube channel), the experience helped me grow.
Only 4 trolls have really gotten to me my entire life, and I take full responsibility for allowing each encounter to spiral into toxicity, paranoia, and neuroses. The conversation hurt both of us (or perhaps just me, because a real troll just likes to make people emotional). My weakness is that I like to help people, and I never set up enough boundaries to protect myself. So after 2 days of trying to figure our how to not repeat the cycle (I do some work with gender, race, and sexuality—in the Midwest—so I’ve run into some mean people), I have found the perfect way to not only identify trolls, but stop them in their tracks.
Even well meaning people and otherwise nice, kind, people can troll without them being aware of it.
The experience helped me grow as a person, and as a Buddhist. You don’t have to believe in Buddhism, or the philosophy, but the advice is sound, no matter what you believe. I obviously needed to work on practicing “right speech”. And now, everything I write and say will try and put it to good use. Also, most internet debates are Rogerian. If you don’t have the time to massage an ego (due to the natural default of humans to be defensive), before you get into your points, just walk away. If you don’t put in the time, you will regret it later.
How to identify a troll comment? Ask:
- Is it true?
- factual?
- Is it helpful (does it reduce suffering?)
- Is it pleasing?
- Is it timely?
If it might be true, it isn’t true, so note it isn’t true, or in meditation explore it further, if appropriate. (This is important for hypothetical arguments anyone might make, because they can switch it to argue the opposite any second).
If it isn’t factual, note it isn’t factual. If it might be factual, it isn’t factual, so note the thought isn’t factual.
If it isn’t helpful note it isn’t helpful. If it might be helpful, consider it further, or put it aside for later.
If it is helpful, true and factual and pleasing, then note this. If it is not pleasing, but helpful, true and factual, you would choose the right time to explore it.
If any one the above is not true, then I highly recommend that you let them know that you will not discuss the issue further because now is not the time (and given your discretion, never might be the better time).
In things you say and write, you can consider right speech as well. This will probably decrease, although not eliminate, the amount of trolling that comes your way.
Rough times—we can crumble—or we can grow. I hope they will never jade.
I almost got jaded a few times, and then I met and spoke to former members of the Aryan Brotherhood, and former men who hated social justice workers, but now openly talk about privilege. Hearing “but, it might be my privilege or something” is magic to me, from some of these guys. And, someone’s work did that, so I know it’s important. That person might have not seen the fruit of their efforts, but I am grateful to them. I’ve met people older and younger who are not minorities, getting so much of the discussion on race and white-washing correct (in comics and the media). I’ve met devout Muslim’s who used to be offended by democracy (only believed in a state under Sharia law), and by drawings of the prophet Mohammad, but now believe that others have the right to draw such things if trigger warnings are added, and have a right to live in a state separate from religion….
Oh, life is amazing! One troll cannot stand against the wave of justice, equality, and fairness.
I don’t consider myself a social justice warrior—just a good person. And, I’ve gained followers and friends I never expected, so I know I am helping some people out there. No one can tell me what I do is not important.
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